The "Talk"

So K and I had a talk about what to do if the blood work and ultrasound come back for sure positive that I have PCOS. We truly love the idea of being as young as we are and being parents. We don't want to wait and see if I loose weight, I'm not saying I won't try to do it, I just know how long it takes me to loose the weight, and we don't want to wait that long. That could be like 2 years from now for all we know. I am so thankful that my doctor is offering Clomid this soon. I am really fortunate to be able to have the opportunity. We had the discussion tonight about the "T" word...Twins! The was the first thing the doctor warned me of, is the possibility of have multiples. We are prepared. K always likes to think that these alternatives will not happen to us, therefore we don't have to worry. QUITE the contrary for me. I am thinking, all the time, about the What if's. I can't be like him, I need to plan in advance and know that if it did happen what we would try to do. How would I work? I don't have a Big enough car for the kids I watch and TWINS. What would we do...if he made $9 more an hour then he would make as much as we do now, and I could stay home and maybe sell something like Partylite, or Tastefully Simple, something like that. To earn some extra income. These thoughts are always running through my head, that is why I am up at 12:30 on a Thursday night, even though I have to get up in about 5 hours. I can't sleep when I think like this. I lay in bed and pick my finger nails, that I have worked so hard to grow! I already picked 3, :( I am disappointed in myself.

I am ALWAYS thinking.